#Platform Logic

For for wendy hui kyong chun

I checked LinkedIn on my iPhone

without thinking.

There was a message.

It asked how I was doing.

I didn’t answer.

Then I closed my phone

and felt relieved.

Then I walked into my living room.

My laptop was on the couch.

I sat next to it.

nothing happened for a while.

It felt like waiting.

I opened my laptop.

The screen lit up to a page

I didn’t remember.

I opened a new tab,

but it loaded slowly,

then I caught my reflection

staring at me

from the black part of the screen.

I looked like a serious adult.

Then I opened a different tab

and googled,

“which animals pay the most attention to their butts.”

The results were disappointing.

Then I imagined the internet exploding

and wondered if it would make a noise or just disappear.

Then I imagined people roller skating in a park on a sunny day,

not hearing the internet explode.

Then I googled “what animals stay in one place forever.”

A chatbot said hello with an exclamation point.

I typed, “please go away,”

and it showed me a duck.

then i opened linkedin again

without thinking.

there was a post about grit

with a picture of a waterfall.

the caption said:

“real leaders never stop climbing.”

i clicked like

because i like waterfalls.

then i read a comment

that said “this.”

it had 4 likes.

i looked at the person’s profile.

they were holding a coffee

and smiling in a way

that made me feel nervous.

then i switched tabs

but didn’t do anything.

then i came back

and liked a different post

about something i already forgot.

then someone wrote

“🔥🔥🔥”

under a zoom screenshot.

i tried to imagine

what that meant.

then i found something,

then lost it.

then scrolled until

i forgot why.

then i found it again,

but it was different.

then i hovered over a button

that said “see more.”

i didn’t click it.

then i thought about going outside

then i checked my elbow

for no reason.

then i opened a link

about the brain

and why people do things

and everything is bad.

it said 11 minutes to read.

i didn’t read it.

then there was a quiz

about my leadership style.

then i wondered if i had yogurt.

then i argued in a thread

about empathy.

they said “let’s be kind.”

i said “that’s not the point.”

then i agreed

just to see how it felt.

then i thought

about it for two hours.

then i replied to a comment.

then deleted it.

then wrote it again,

then forgot why.

then i wrote a post

about not needing likes

and hoped people liked it.

then i forgot about it.

i want to feel

like a post

with 1,074 likes.

i don’t want likes,

but i kind of do.

wendy hui kyong chun says,

“we are habituated to update.

we must update to remain the same.”

i thought about that for a while,

then stopped.

then i checked my elbow again.

then i endorsed someone for strategy.

then i minimized the window.

then i stared at the desktop.

i wasn’t sure

what to do next

then i moved the cursor

in small circles.

then i shut the laptop slowly,

like i was tucking something in.